Day 4 Screwed up

Day started out good, nice ice cold OJ for breakfast, roasted turkey sandwich on whole grain bread, easy mayo, mustard, cheddar cheese, 52oz water.
Then the downhill started, after I finished cleaning a house I was hungry and running around, so I stopped at McDonald's and got a large fry, I also took one home to Micahal, who has the flu, and finished my errands.

Once I was home, the frys didn't taste as good as they should have, don't know if that was guilt kicking in.

Had more water, then I just had a flash, I hate it when my pants wear out at the inner thigh, that's so embarrassing, even my stomach looks like an ass if I wear the right pants, nasty, it made my do isolated body contractions, first the stomach, a physical trainer showed me, and when done right in a few days you realize that under all that flub you actually have muscles, worked on my facial exercises because my snoring is so bad it keeps my husband awake.
I did find if I don't eat chocolate late in the afternoon he doesn't complain as much about it. Then dinner, holy hell!!
I was fine, online for teryaki chicken with broccoli and brown rice, then the phone rang, Dena was on her way home and she bought stuff to make homemade hamburgers and fries, oh yes!!! my whole body was HELL YEAH!! then my mind was that annoying angel on my shoulder, "you shouldn't eat that" f-off I said, I had a hamburger with bacon, Ortega chilies, cheese, and french fries with blue cheese dressing.
 I haven't had this since I lived at home. My mom made it (without the fat though), I didn't do the "cut your plate in half" thing, I ate it all, wow was I happy, then 20 minutes later hit, I was too full to function. Cracked open a Diet Sierra Mist and got to work making a pop up birthday card, very cool I must say, but I felt bad the whole time, so I went to bed really late and threw off my clock for today(1/5).
That I will get to later.
I did get exercise in yesterday, any thing I had to bend to clean I turned into squats, and isolated my abs while vacuuming.
You know everyone has the dream of being sexy and all that, I just want to look good naked and with clothes on, I only look in mirrors that show shoulders up, I can't stand taking pictures, I feel really ugly, and you know your fat when all people say is "she has a great personality" or "wow you have such a pretty face", well watch this fuckers, I'm gonna have a hot body, pretty face and good personality to go with it.
You know I realize the madness starts with motherhood, well motherhood and a relationship, your boyfriend, yummy, is with you while your growing, he forgets how nice you looked before pregnancy, but then I always see him looking at those skinny girls, and he still says, "baby you look great".
LIES ALL LIES, well that's what my brain is telling myself.
The baby comes and your not having the huge belly sticking out, nope it has just decided to hang down, like a deflated ball, then you end up with the "click flap", you have to rent "Click" with Adam Sandler, you'll know exactly what I'm talking about.
That flap of fatty skin that makes you put on a longer shirt, or the comfy pants instead of the cute pants. I was strong and confident about myself before having kids, then strong and comfortable kicked in, now the 70lbs I originally gained has turned into has turned into 100lbs I need to loose, why can't I get lucky with the flu, or some thyroid problem that kicks that little fucker into gear and viola! magnifico! I'm halfway there.
Signing off now, blog got behind, missed it yesterday. Need to get work done so I can update tonight.
Stay healthy, eat a cucumber.

The rest of Day 2

Well I was off to a good start, I did have a snickers for a morning snack, it was "satisfying", and 52 ounces of water, then all went down hill from there, Micahal had a wrestling match, so I ended up with Taco Bell, 2 bean and cheese burritos(no onion), and 1 taco. It was good, but really bad in a really bad way, but my original plan was chicken breast and broccoli over rice. See I meant well, it just didn't end up that way, better luck tomorrow I guess, I did manage to exercise my abs while cleaning, I made sure I lifted using my thighs and abs only, kinda sore no, but good. So now off to bed, gonna have a glass of OJ for dessert.
So I have a cleanse I'm willing to try, it's a green cleanse, spinach, celery, parsley, lemon, pear and cucumber, this should help jump start me, but will I be living on the toilet the first day?
Now how do I make this all work with out it being overwhelming and keep my family happy at the same time? I guess the future will show me when it's ready.
So goals for tomorrow, have breakfast, have lunch and manage a snack in there somewhere. Just because I say it doesn't mean it will all work that way, but hell, I'm throwing horseshoes here, so I don't need to be that close.
Will power means less weight!!!!! Lets go LESS WEIGHT!!!

Day 2 Breakfast

Day 2 Does Wii Work?

Does Wii work, so far I have tried "Just Dance" on the sweat setting, I left feeling my biceps and sweating pretty good, is this a work out, cardio? When you do it for 1/2 hour or more, is that good.
So enough of my questions, here is day 2, I have to eat breakfast, I don't eat breakfast, I haven't had breakfast since I was 10, yes I eat it sparaticaly but not everyday, and definitely no portion control. The more on my plate the better, bacon, eggs, toast, I know I've eaten a pound of bacon before, my biggest problem is never being full. I try everyones tips and tricks, the full bar tasted like dry granola paste, drinking 2 glasses of water before you eat, having a salad before every meal, put everything you would normally eat on my plate and only eat half, I'm hungry 2 hours later, but by then it's to late to have a snack, because you never want to eat after 5pm, and never eat before bed.
So now what do you do to not starve? I've tried snacking through the day, you know, 6 small snacks throughout the day, then I feel like I'm grazing, because I'm not sitting to eat, because that allows for better digestion. AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
So here I go, every week I will try a new tip or trick, and if it becomes habit that's a great thing. Today and tomorrow are busy days.
This week is breakfast everyday. I will put down and take a picture of proof of my meal and portion size.
OH WAIT, STOP EVERYTHING, and on some diets you get the weekends off? How does that help? If your eating right and changing habits why are you throwing out 2 days a week? WTF who's tip was that? I will even throw in the suggestions from magazines and give them a shot. I will not starve myself though, the Hollywood Grapefruit Diet, the garbage diet, oh he'll, have you done that one, shit I spent all damn day farting, non stop. 10 day cleanse I didn't even last a day, I mean I did it all day then at dinner I felt the need to make up for a whole day of not eating. If I remember I do add Cayenne Pepper to my food, it is supposed to help speed up metabolism, and I like spice.
Weight Watchers didn't work, if I was single yeah, but a family of 4 it doesn't work like they say it does, I have to make 2 dinners, who wants to make 2 dinners after working all day?
Ok day 2 here I go, keep me strong, and keep me moving.
Be safe, stay strong, make it a great day.

Day 1

this is my quest to lose what i have gained in the past 16 years, my struggles, and emotions and fears. I know my biggest fear is do i have the strength to do it, and will I really be happy when I reach my goal. I give my self 6 months to lose 60 pounds, that's safely 10 pounds a month. Right now my current weight is 260, and I'm 5'5 1/2, so join me, I hope to help and hopefully inspire. Good dreams and happy thoughts.